Humour "Laughter is a good medicine" On this page you will find humorous jokes and stories. I will be changing them from time to time and putting in new ones. If you have a good story you are most welcome to mail it to me. - So sit back, relax and have a good laugh and a chuckle or two! Be sure, no one hear you!

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $10 bill in it. Now there are ten $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

This woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. - The friend says, "How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just a few days before your husband died. How could you be broke?" - The widow says, "Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so that was another$5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone." - The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? My goodness, how big was it?" - Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats."

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He *communicates* real well and I just *act* like I'm listening."

As a senior citizen (Judy) was driving down the freeway, her car phone rang.
Answering, she heard BOB's voice urgently warning her "JUDI, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the interstate, Please be careful!"!
"Shoot," said Judy, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them"!

A Mother´s Answering Machine' HELLO - THIS IS YOUR MOTHER *If you want my advice: PRESS 1 *If you want to argue: PRESS 2 *If you want to leave a message: WAIT FOR THE TONE *If you want to aggravate me or borrow money: HANG UP! Telephone conversation "Hello...hello..Is that you, George?" "Yeah, this is George." "It doesn't sound like George." "This is George." "Are you sure this is George?" "Certainly, this is George." "Well, listen George, this is Chuck. Lend me fifty dollars." "All right. I'll tell George when he comes in."

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?", to which the lady replied "Yes". "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing".

A lawyer awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him. "Why are the curtains closed?" he asked. "Is it night?" A nurse replied, "No, it's just that there's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful!!"

An eighteen-year-old soldier was given guard duty one night. He did his best for a while, but in the early morning he went to sleep. He awakened to find his superior standing over him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart thinking young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked piously upward, and reverently intond, "A-a-a-amen!

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his.
"Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight." When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway."

Six months after Morris the waiter died, his widow went to see a medium, who promised she would contact the dead man. During the seance, the widow was sure she saw her husband standing in the corner, dressed in his waiter's outfit. "Morris !" she cried. "Come closer and speak to me!" A hoarse voice from the corner wailed, "I can't. It's not my table."

Daily updated cartoons:

Sherman's Lagoon   

 

HÄGAR the horrible

 

Bad Day One night, a father overheard his son saying his prayers. "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grammy. Good-bye, Grampa." Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. About a month or two later the father heard his son saying his prayers again. "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Good-bye, Grammy." The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little worried about the whole situation. Two weeks later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers. "God Bless Mommy. Good-bye, Daddy." This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed in his office through lunch and dinner. Finally, late in the evening, he went home. He was still alive! When he got home he apologized to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today." "YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY?!!" the wife yelled. "The mailman dropped dead on our doorstep this morning!"

HEM  

Gästbok & Mail